An open letter to horror fans

In one week, I will be thirty years old (“Happy birthday, Andie!” Thank you, I’m sure it’ll be awesome) and I don’t understand how it’s taken me so long to reach my breaking point. Honestly, I’m an impatient, short-tempered mess. Regardless of the fact that I should’ve hit this point about half of my life ago, I’m getting extremely tired of being told what to watch.

It’s always the same few movies and they’re being beaten to death with people’s opinions. I can deal with people having their own opinions, I know mine aren’t always the best (Halloween 3 was the best Halloween, fight me), but the fact that I’m blatantly being told mine are wrong is… well, wrong. I’m always up for a healthy debate, but don’t expect me to take you seriously if you’re simply telling me that I shouldn’t like what I like.

It’s okay to like movies no one else likes. It’s okay to have a bunch of friends over, put on Thunder in Paradise, and laugh together because it’s so horrible. It’s okay to watch Jennifer’s Body and chug a beer every time she eats a boy. It’s okay to genuinely enjoy Nic Cage films. It’s okay to hate a film and not really have a reason why, maybe it just doesn’t jive with you, and that’s fine.

But maybe instead of complaining about the same films over and over people could try talking about new films no one’s heard of to get the word out. Of course the fifth Sharknado will be bad, that’s the point, but Even Lambs Have Teeth was phenomenal so why aren’t we talking about that? Maybe instead of a wild speculation about the same movies we’ve been wildly speculating about for months, I’d like to be updated about what festivals near me will have films I wanna see, like Tonight She Comes. What if instead of telling more about Saw 7, someone gives me a list of never before seen films that are going to be shown at horror cons? Yes, I want to be told when a mainsteam franchise is cranking out another movie because I love trash, but I also want to see the trailer for the weird schlocky gore movie your neighbor’s little brother shot in the basement with his friends.

This rant is incoherent and I’m truly sorry for that, but goddamnit I want those lesser known gems to get the recognition they deserve and I want people to stop trying to make me feel bad about wanting to see Sharknado 5 because I promise you, it won’t work.